Archibald McFartpants is a renowned prophet known for his ability to predict the exact number of farts a person will let rip during any given meeting.
"I've calculated that exactly 17 farts will occur within the first 30 minutes of this meeting," he said with an air of certainty. "Mark my words."
When questioned about his method, McFartpants revealed a complex system involving tarot cards, astrology, and a thorough understanding of the human digestive system.
Morty the Merciless is a fearsome prophet feared by all who know him. He predicts the downfall of entire civilizations with uncanny accuracy.
"I see the end of all that is good and pure," he said with a maniacal cackle. "The doom that I have foreseen shall soon be upon you."
His prophecies often come with a hefty price tag, but those who seek his counsel are willing to pay the cost.
Bob the Benevolent is an unlikely prophet who predicts the most mundane of outcomes.
"You will likely get a raise in six months, but only if you don't get fired," he said with a shrug.
His prophecies are often dismissed as truisms, but those who seek him out find comfort in his unwavering certainty.